Friday, January 29, 2010

Sad Epiphany

I know why most people don't want to change - nobody believes that they will even if they do, nobody believes we can. As if they're the Fates themselves, we're told our own futures by those that think they know us, that we're going to make the same mistakes, that we're just like so-and-so, that we're naive. Then, because we're weak, sensitive humans, we start to falter and believe the non-believers. We want to let ourselves fall into their burning mold, live the charcoaled picture they try to etch into our skins.

Don't. Don't give in. Don't believe them because you CAN. Be different. Be better. The hardest struggles are within yourself. Once you're completely trusting and confident in You, everyone Else becomes a mere shadow. Make them believe, even if you hardly believe yourself. Paint your portrait more colorful with everything in you, so bright they are stunned by its brilliance.

It isn't easy, being me. Me, whom I hardly know, apparently is BFF with Them which makes it difficult to be one other than what They tell me I am. Locked up labyrinth of cotton candy.


:: Droid Does ::

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

According to the Navy - Who I Am

I registered on the US Air Force and Navy websites to learn more about opportunities they offer.  Growing up, I said that if I ever went into the military I would join the Air Force...  But looking at their officer ranks, it's so similar to the Marines and Army.  Superficially, the Navy ranks look more chic.  (I'm so bad, I know ha ha.)  You know what, I think I'm slightly biased and influenced from an early age due to watching "Gilligan's Island" - such an awesome show!  Anyway, I took a quiz because, even in my age, I'm not sure where I'm headed.  This quiz seemed to capture me better than all those social whatever sites with personality quizzes.

Your Who I Am Results

You’re down with the team. You’ll do whatever it takes.
You’re into mellow. You like it when you have time to sort things out and figure out the best way to get it done.
You want to taste it, touch it, see it and experience it all. Now.
You have a brain and you use it. You read books without pictures in them. You want to go to school, get ahead and do it right.
There’s one person you can always count on — you. You do it best on your own. Nothing’s wrong with teams, they’re just not your thing.
You like living on the edge. Snowboarding. rollerblading and mountain biking… you’re down with extreme sports and anything that gives you a thrill.
No surprises. That’s what you’re about. You like knowing ahead of time what’s going to happen and what’s expected of you.
The people you work with are more than the people you work with — they’re your family.

Your Life Accelerator™ Results

  1. Innovator 18

    The Innovator Profile
    Innovators are artistic and like to apply their imagination to invent creative things or find unique ways of doing things. They see themselves as expressive, original and independent. Does this sound like you?
    Activities and Interests
    If you’re an Innovator, you may currently enjoy activities or hobbies such as:
    • Performing: music, dance or drama
    • Photography
    • Visiting art museums
    • Painting, sketching, design or creative writing
    • Making homemade crafts or sewing
    • Travel
    • Learning foreign languages
    Work Environments
    Innovators like unstructured work situations and prefer to work in roles where creativity is valued.
    As an Innovator, it’s likely you’ll enjoy careers that allow you to:
    • Express yourself creatively
    • Think imaginatively or conceptually
    • Produce or review artistic works

  2. Problem Solver 16

    The Problem Solver Profile
    Problem Solvers are observant and like to figure out how things work. When challenges arise, they investigate and analyze to find creative solutions. Problem Solvers value science and math, and may view themselves as logical, but also as broad-minded, or independent, thinkers. Does this sound like you?
    Activities and Interests
    If you’re a Problem Solver, you may currently enjoy activities or hobbies such as:
    • Board games or role-playing video games
    • Visiting museums
    • Astronomy
    • Collecting: sports cards, stamps, coins or rocks
    • Fixing computers or troubleshooting Internet or software issues
    Work Environments
    Research labs, medical facilities, software testing or product development environments are all natural surroundings for the Problem Solver.
    As a Problem Solver, it’s likely you’ll enjoy careers that allow you to:
    • Figure things out by observation, research and trial and error
    • Learn or decipher complex problems or formulas
    • Apply scientific theories
    • Use microscopes, computers or other investigative tools and techniques
    • Think abstractly

  3. Planner 14

    The Planner Profile
    Planners are process oriented and often like to work with data, such as numbers or records. They are organized, sometimes systematic, and like activities that follow a pattern. Planners see themselves as attentive to detail, orderly and good at keeping to a plan. Does this sound like you?
    Activities and Interests
    If you’re a Planner, you may currently enjoy activities or hobbies such as:
    • Playing computer or card games
    • Collecting items or memorabilia from a movie or event series
    • Researching or creating a family tree
    • Helping others organize their things
    Work Environments
    Planners possess clerical and numerical abilities, and prefer to carry out tasks in detail or follow through on directions.
    As a Planner, it’s likely you’ll enjoy careers that allow you to:
    • Work within a system or defined procedure
    • Collect or organize things
    • Use computers to track and process information
    • Work with numbers or formulas
    • Be responsible for details

  4. Do-er 12

    The Do-er Profile
    Do-ers often possess athletic or mechanical abilities, and like to work with things they can see or touch, such as machines, tools or animals. They often prefer to work on their own and to work outdoors. Do-ers view themselves as practical, straight-forward and realistic. Does this sound like you?
    Activities and Interests
    If you’re a Do-er, you may currently enjoy activities or hobbies such as:
    • Sports or fitness classes
    • Hunting or fishing
    • Gardening
    • Building models
    • Repairing cars or electronics
    • Woodworking or furniture refinishing
    Work Environments
    Task-oriented activities and work environments often suit Do-ers, who enjoy the sense of accomplishment from completing an activity or project.
    As a Do-er, it’s likely you’ll enjoy careers that allow you to:
    • Work with machines, vehicles, engines or electronic equipment
    • Work with your hands and stay physically active on the job
    • Work outdoors
    • Build things

  5. Persuader 12

    The Persuader Profile.
    Persuaders are often found at the head of a group, encouraging, influencing, or guiding the team towards its goal. Persuaders value success, and see themselves as energetic, ambitious, and sociable. Does this sound like you?
    Activities and Interests
    If you’re a Persuader, you may currently enjoy activities or hobbies such as:
    • Being captain of a sports team
    • Organizing activities for your friends
    • Discussing politics or watching the stock market
    Work Environments
    The way that ideas are sold, products marketed, people convinced or a team motivated fascinates the Persuader. Persuaders like to lead not by force, but rather by convincing, encouraging and working with others.
    As a Persuader, it’s likely you’ll enjoy careers that allow you to:
    • Organize activities
    • Lead groups or teams
    • Sell things/ideas or promote activities
    • Give talks or speeches, and meet lots of new people
    • Run a business

  6. Advisor 10

    The Advisor Profile
    Advisors enjoy working with others, and personal relationships are important to them. They are often good conversationalists and have an ability to express ideas in easy-to-understand ways. Advisors value solving social problems and see themselves as helpful, friendly, and trustworthy. Does this sound like you?
    Activities and Interests
    If you’re an Advisor, you may currently enjoy activities or hobbies such as:
    • Volunteering with school, campus, church, or community groups
    • Peer counseling
    • Meeting new friends and going to parties
    • Caring for or spending time with children
    • Attending sporting events or playing team sports
    Work Environments
    Advisors seek environments where they can feel they can make a difference or offer assistance.
    As an Advisor, it’s likely you’ll enjoy careers that allow you to:
    • Teach or train others
    • Lead discussions or negotiations
    • Help others cooperate with one another
    • Do volunteer work
    • Help people cope with their problems

The Navy is looking quite amazing to me right now...  Air Force???


Monday, January 18, 2010

Picture of Devyn's Gray

No actual picture, not unlike the novel.  I saw my one gray strand, same place.  It came back.   Age is treating me unkindly, either way you look at it.  What next comes my way?  Bring it!


:: Sent by Droid Mobile ::

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Life: A Love-Hate Relationship

It makes me deeply melancholy to hear of horrid things happening to beautiful people.  No, I don't just mean physically attractive people, ha...  As cliche as it is, the truth is there - people with beauty from the inside that radiates like no sun in our galaxy.  People made of that stronger stuff that can make grown warriors cry; the courage and perseverance that allow a weakened soul to win that defining battle against all odds, against Death; someone with an infinite warmth in their heart that melts any frigid air and brings hope.

With that, I'd like to wish Kandee Johnson all the best, for she has a difficult battle ahead, and offer her my support.  She deserves way better than Fate has decided to deal her thus far and have to argue with Fate that it is sO UNFAIR!  You had better rethink your strategy, Fate, because I'm not liking this chapter, and if Karma has her way you know it'd better be a happy ending.

This is just one more example of how Life is SUCH a ...  UGH.  You know what I want to say...  For people who seem to attract bad luck, like me and apparently Kandee, it's really hard to stay optimistic. Yet through it all, Kandee has always proved me wrong - she stays strong in her resolve to be the ray of sunshine because she and her kids need that light to keep pushing forward.  I'd love to take a lesson but lessons are hard to learn for an old gel.  I don't accept defeat, I'm just saying it's not easy.  I suppose now you're going to say, "Well, nobody ever said it was going to be easy."  One step ahead of you, my dear.

I read in my psychology and sociology texts on the various approaches people take to face a conflict.  Depending on the type of person they are, conflicts are fought head on, manipulated into change, ignored, or hidden from altogether.  Nobody would ever say I'm a shy person or evens lightly docile, yet I'm discovering through experience the best way to handle many conflicts is to retreat.  Were I to do that indefinitely, I would certainly admit to cowardice.  Retreatism, however, simultaneously practiced with tactical planning, strengthening, and resolve to reemerge seem to me a far more expedient plan than attempting to fight blindly.  Walt, the protagonist in the Clint Eastwood film "Gran Torino," exemplifies this in his final redemption.  (If you haven't seen this movie, well... what are you waiting for?)  Aside (and this is totally materialistic and shallow): I'd really love a Gran Torino, such a sexy car!

So, life's a Beavis and Butthead.  Sometimes I just want to pull my t-shirt over my head and pretend I don't exist (or that I'm a roll of TP).  Other times, it's as simple as enjoying the next music video and laughing at nothing.  Heh heh heh...  Hah hah hah...


Friday, January 15, 2010

Should I Be Embarrassed?

As I compose and fold laundry, I'm watching "Twilight" ... again. I can't even count how many times I've watched and read the entire saga. (Okay, so either I can't count very high or it must've been a LOT of times.)

  • If I were a guy, I'd be perfect.
  • I failed at making coffee - from a machine.
  • I've got a finite brain capacity, like a kitty - in one ear and something else goes out the other. Fie.
  • Cute bikini alert! Time to stop eating!!!  (I <3 VS)
  • Steeth of teel.
  • Chiropractors scare me, they want to break my neck.  And yet I return...
  • Immortality of life isn't so romantic as the idea of immortal love. *puke*
  • I wish I were in high school again.
  • Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood! She brings out my Fifteen and she brings out my claws.
  • Permanent undereye circles that mesmerize - the beautiful look of perfection.
  • Free range.
  • I need a little "Twang," a lil' hillbilly bending on some guitar strings, gotta get that honky tonkin' feelin' through my veins!
  • I'd like to play football, ice hockey, and dodge ball. I don't think I'm very good at the dodge but I know I can be good D.
  • I've been trying to hit the sack around 9-10PM. Still so tired.
  • My body runs with sugar, blood I do not bleed.

:: Sent by Droid Mobile ::

Monday, January 11, 2010

Blood Glucose - NYE Hater

Food coma - I need a celery, STAT!*

High blood glucose is bad. You end up crashing sooner than you can pop another piece of candy into your mouth. It becomes hard to swallow because you're so thirsty you can't drink enough water to alleviate it before you're full and nothing's staying down. Alertness is unheard of and consciousness a great trial. All you want to do is relax your neck muscles and let your head crack on the desk, you're just so very tired!

Last week on my way to a friend's house, I saw an Asian man and an old Asian woman waiting by the light to cross. They were standing so far apart I was uncertain of their relationship on that walk. About two hours later, three miles down the road, I saw them again... They had gone to the grocery store. The old lady was holding all the groceries for them; the man, indifferent, walked a couple yards in front of her. It was such a chauvinistic, sad, pathetic sight to see; my temper was sore. She looked frail, tired, slightly off in the head, but also wary of the man. He seemed arrogant, also frail, but hard in the face. The woman had to carry all their groceries the three plus miles back to their house while walking behind him, not beside him. While slavery in one sense has been abolished de juri, de facto so many cruel things still exist because of the injustice of bigots and patriarchal societies that refuse to learn of compassion.

I have not done much. My new year's eve was quiet (other than the cacophonous sound of me on the ukulele, guitar, and attempting to sing my heart out). I engaged myself in my music, making sure of such deep immersion so as not to notice any passing of time until my lids got heavy and I collapsed into slumber. It was just goodbye another night, hello another day. Life goes on...

*This is an allusion to the movie "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs." If you haven't yet seen it, you should. Only then will you truly know if you're a dork like me (i.e. laughing at pretty much everything ridiculous and nothing at all).


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