Friday, December 25, 2009

Happy Christmas - Surprises

I'm not one for surprises as many can attest, leastwise not the tangible sort. This Christmas I was pleasantly and tragically surprised by those I thought were lost to me: they made the first move and showed me they at least cared the briefest bit to send a warm message wishing a merry day. In my jaded age, I honestly expected less but am grateful for these surprises, the dull ache of remembrance followed by some distant glimmer of hope.
As this cold night turns to sleep, I wish you the sweetest dreams and even sweeter memories. 

Happy Christmas,

:: Sent by Android Phone

Monday, December 21, 2009

Brilliant Graphic Designer - Sophie Lin

Should you like to request her services, please contact me for more information.  I highly recommend her.  She is an amazingly creative graphic designer.

Lose Weight, Or Die

I recently checked out a bunch of books from the local library, some titles include: Thin, The Fat Girl's Guide to Life, Shrink Yourself, Eating Disorders for Dummies, and the Princeton Review for DAT Exams.  Interesting combination, no?

Thin, not to be confused with Stephen King's movie "Thinner" which I found both scary and envious, is a large print book filled with pictures, journal entries, and dialogue from in-patients from a particular treatment center in Florida called Renfrow.  Some of the tellings were confounding, but I thought their journals were most revealing.  It's incredible to see all the young teenage girls in it, sad really.  Still, somehow I'm green for the skinny girl?  It's sick, I know...

More of a comedy than a fight, I found The Fat Girl's Guide to Life hilarious and strangely upbeat.  I don't really find myself agreeing with the author - no, I don't think it's okay to be fat and to each her own - but some points she makes are valid in at least its ridiculousness.  Wendy Shanker's definitely spunky and provides an alternative pair of glasses to wear through life, if you're of that path anyway.  When I read her following thoughts I most certainly laughed out loud:
  • The skinny girl is jealous of the fat girl for eating all the junk and sweets she thinks the fat girl is eating, like ice cream and cookies.
  • "'WHY DO YOU CARE IF I'M FAT?'  It's my body.  I know full well what I'm doing to it.  I'm not blowing secondhand smoke on you.  I'm not drunk-driving into you.  I'm not taking food out of your mouth.  Unless you're crawling around in my skin, it doesn't affect you in any direct way."  (Shanker 37)
  • Skinny girls need fat girls around - they're not competition.
  • "I yearn to tell the skinny chicks, 'You won!'  And get them off my case.  After all, Darwinian evolutionary theory would suggest that the fatter we are, the more the Thin have to gain (ha ha).  The Thin have a better shot at getting a sex partner than the Fat.  The Thin ge t paid more than the Fat.  So to ensure their own chances of evolutionary success, why won't they leave us and our Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos well enough alone?"
Is it kind of disturbing that I find this all so very humorous?


Sunday, December 20, 2009

My Final Sociology Paper

This is unedited.  Yes, I wrote it so don't go plagiarizing my work.

Interview with a Minority Social Worker From Vietnam

By Devyn
              A fabulous and frustrating part of life is that a single person can be so incredibly complex in all their experiences and origins which affect them and make them who they are.  One such example lies in the history of Camie[1], a 52 year old female that had immigrated to the United States from Vietnam at the peak of the Vietnam War.  Not only is she a minority still living within the United States today, but she had grown up in a patriarchal and traditional Vietnamese society, escaped the trials of a terrible war, withstood assimilation challenges with life and education in the states, but also involved herself in a social work career assisting others with social disadvantages.  Camie's life even now has been a labyrinth of role conflicts, social and cultural change, and professional empathy.
              Growing up in a highly patriarchal, and even chauvinistic, society in Vietnam seemed normal to Camie.  Even to this day, she incorporates into her life and that of her children the same traditional ideas of intra-racial marriage, specific gender roles, and class placement.  Familial gender roles were very specific: her mother was responsible for taking care of the children, making sure the house was in order; while her father ensured financial stability and the means for a comfortable lifestyle.  He was one of the top generals in the Vietnam Army prior to the taking over of the Communists.  Such a position placed the family in the upper class ranks; they had the power, prestige, and property which, as Max Weber declared, defined one's class in society (Henslin 172).
              The imminent danger to them at the height of the Vietnam War forced the entire family's immigration into the United States in the later part of 1975.  Camie and her family were abruptly faced with an entirely different society made up of more liberal ideas than they were used to, differences in gender roles, broader ideas of inter-racial marriage, and the supremely humbling effect of a lower social class status.  One of the facets of the interview that was most tragic dealt with the family's radical change in class status.  The way Camie described her father's transition from a highly respected and influential man to one with merely a green thumb was disheartening.  The man once had a dream of becoming a lawyer, a dream which was made impossible in the face of a society which could not understand a single word and a wallet devoid of cash.
              Despite having to accept their much more meager standard of living, Camie and her family still recognized the great opportunities that presented themselves to the younger generation.  Though their father could no longer provide for the family as he once did, the older children threw themselves into bettering their lives by excelling in education and urging the younger ones to do the same.  The idea of higher education for the boys seemed natural but for the girls, it was certainly a culture shock that, for this family, lasted but a brief moment in the face of all the opportunity that America presented.  It was given that in Vietnam, the boys would continue with their education past the middle school level; the girls, unless proving exceptionally intelligent, naturally would cease education there and become house wives or assist their mothers to raise the younger children.  This was the only road available for Camie's mother; to borrow from Robert Frost's poem, there were no other roads less taken from which to choose.
              It was different in America, though, and Camie and her siblings knew it.  Though she and the older brothers had slightly more difficulty in assimilating with American culture and language, having to go through late high school and college education knowing very limited English, they knew the much anticipated opportunities that awaited them from which a strong work ethic could lead to upward mobility on the class ladder.  Her younger brothers and sisters, she had 11 siblings total, excelled in English with much greater ease as they were integrated at the elementary school levels.  These challenges, however, did not hinder them for very long.  Soon they were receiving university diplomas, working for top companies, and even making newspaper headlines for developing some of the first computer chips.  Camie, in particular, received her degree in Social Work and pursued her career in assisting people with needs.
              Focusing mostly on the elderly in the Social Services Agency, she was able to assist them with different program needs and guidance throughout her 15 years with the agency[2].  Internally and externally, Camie witnessed discrimination by her peers and from her clients; some from pure hatred and others, undoubtedly, from frustration at not having their needs met.  While her clients surely faced discrimination from their disabilities, race, and age in the face of the public, some felt that even the system in which Camie worked also engaged in institutionalized discrimination (Henslin 234).  Every denial she issued upset them and, though it made her feel stuck, she knew she had to accept the limitations of the bureaucratic system and that she would not be able to assist everyone as they would like.  Under the strict guidelines and standards of the Social Services Agency, each program had specific requirements and processes to be followed; an employee must follow each protocol as mandated, any deviation on the part of the client or agency employee could disqualify the client.  Such a bureaucratic system is exemplary of the federal system within the United States, known for being both grandiose in its possibilities yet incorrigible in its rigidity (Henslin 124).
              Working within this organization for over a decade and growing more accustomed to life in North America did little to help her feel at home.  Camie never had trouble interacting with people of other ethnicities but had experienced enough ethnic discrimination in her professional career to feel that she had a need to find her cultural roots again later in life.  For this she became engaged in ethnic charity work on her free time, playing a large role in the Vietnamese American Cancer Foundation and Universal Virtue Buddhist Charity.  Camie says her hopes for the future lie in assisting the poor and disabled people of Vietnam, and plans to execute most of this by providing financial assistance.
              Though never fully recovering to her upper class position, her career allowed Camie a fair middle class life for her family.  Noteworthy is the conflict between her idealized gender roles and her de facto deployment of them in her life.  She constantly tells her daughter to find a wealthy husband to support her and her future family, but spent a good decade of her life in a dysfunctional marriage in which she had to play both the male financial supportive role and female housewifely duties yet still be undermined in a chauvinistic manner.  Further, divorce is a shameful practice to even consider in Asian culture; studies in the Henslin text even point to Asian American culture as being the most prevalent to raise children with two parents.  For Camie, it was no different - it took a few years in that abusive situation to finally let go and face the social consequences.  Interestingly enough, while no longer in that failed marriage, Camie still stresses the importance of obedience to the husband, blind loyalty, and intra-racial integrity of a relationship despite the illegitimate proof of her own experiences.
              The generation gap between her children and herself is no light distance; in fact, it would almost seem as though a twilight zone were impressed upon their lives.  Gender roles are unclearly defined, inter-racial marriage is an idea forced upon Camie to accept (though not without great reluctance and disagreement), equality between sexes of great importance, and a haunting aversion by her daughter of traditional submissive behavior.  One would expect that, under the circumstances, a person's attitude on obsolete traditions would evolve to incorporate new standards; however, the cultural diffusion seems slow, at best, for her generation.
              Without doubt, Camie's life in Vietnam, her immigration to the United States, the university education and career in Social Work, and responsibilities raising first generation Vietnamese Americans created an intricate quilt into which society, culture, class, gender, and age were sewn into thick colored patterns.  Her very own struggles allowed her a unique perspective on life and helped her find a calling more altruistic and rewarding to contribute to her assimilated lifestyle.  Finally, passing on these experiences and ideas and allowing the next generation to fulfill their destinies with the sociological imagination allows societies to continue to flourish and grow.

    [1]  Interviewee is referred to by the pseudonym Camie.  Her real  name is concealed for privacy.
    [2] Camie was actually employed with the agency for over 15 years, but moved about different units nearer present day.


Saturday, December 19, 2009

2010 New Year's Resolution



Thursday, December 17, 2009

Optimism Gets Boxed

Lexington: Bah, humbug

An article from The Economist.  Optimism is overrated.  Realism wins again.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Dreamed Coupledom

I didn't tell you about a dream I had. 

It wasn't very significant but I dreamt about my boyfriend and his family.  He was tall, rather on the leaner side than muscular, longish brunette hair and a handsome face though not extraordinary.  As he sat on the sofa scanning the pages of some magazine, his mother kissed my cheek and hugged hello.  She had been talking to my ex's mother and, like her, insisted on calling me Katherine.  It was  more than a little aggravating and my boyfriend didn't even bother to correct her.  Before I could gather my wits to say something, I woke up exhausted.  I felt like going back to sleep so I could continue my coupled existence, but realized I would be late for work were I to linger in bed...

So I faced reality with a pout, leaving my eerily happy dream in bed and sucked in a cold breath of solitude.


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Happy Holidays!

I wish you a magical and memorable holiday season with endless love.  Enjoy!

With love,

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Twilight Saga & Good (Adjusted) Vampires

I never got into the whole Twilight craze, though I'd always been mesmerized by vampires.  My first introduction was "Interview with the Vampire" where I was immediately intrigued and envious of the eternity of life, survival, the beauty and youth. Though I pitied her static state of childhood, i certainly would not be without chagrin were I forever 18. It wasn't until my boredom got the best of me that I allowed any curiosity toward the newest vampire madness - Twilight.

I sat entraced by the power of him, the protection. When the movie was over, without hesitation, I began it anew. I watched, dreamt, and longed for someone so human. I didn't much appreciate the acting, but I cannot deny falling in love with the characters. I thank my maturity for that as I would be ashamed of myself if I ever behaved and reacted to the actors as those girls watching in innocence and naivete.

Still, though I wanted to remain in that mythical world of monsters and magic, I was bereft of any desire to read it. Years of disinterest on my side, I imagined little enjoyment in forcing excess processing for little potential gain. I was correct, for the most part. It was not until i made the maddening mistake to watch its sequel, New Moon, in theatres that I resolved to read such a saga. It was not so much that I was convinced by the obnoxious teens screaming, crooning, interruptions during the movie at any presence of Edward and, mostly it seemed, Jake. No. It was the movie's unresolved ending that made me thirst for a conclusion.

I am the type to lose sleep over mystery, what could have been, what would have been... My utter dissaitsfaction of the ending compelled me to read the entire saga; once I had granted myself absolution for the end of New Moon, it was not enough. Like Bella, even waiting another six months would be far out of the question.

I let their world drown me from my own and noticed how closely the movies came to the book. Only slightly more character insight and a somewhat altered portrayal, but I was satisfied

Thursday, November 19, 2009


There are many things a person must accept. Some are much harder than others, still more a very few ache endlessly and confuse tremendously. Once you accept you can't make someone happy, maybe you can at least try to make yourself happy... or at least not bleed.

Help me stop thinking! I'm trembling with it.. . ...

My novel begins as if it were the saddest girl on Earth, but we know there are worse abuses.  Why, then, does she tremble with each breath?


:: Sent by Droid Mobile ::

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Losing Control & Setting Aside Pride

I am really entranced by Lady Antebellum's newest song "Need You Now,"  To be honest, I didn't like it at first.  I listened to the melody and found it not so very special.  After hearing more of the lyrics and understanding the words along with the harmonizing of the roles, I began to feel the song and the experience became so much more vivid\ having successfully awakened my own memories.

Most of us have experienced broken hearts, but if you haven't.. well, watch out.  Ha.  I am one of those jaded people that would rather not have an experience then have it rot on me... but you should stay optimistic.  It's better for you.  lLolL.  Anyway, for the weak-hearted person a broken heart yields little self control, lots of brooding, and emotional drainage.  So in the last stand against lonesomeness, what little parts of ourselves are left shattered.. . .. .  We fall and break, we toss aside our precious pride and make that call that we hope will make things better...  In reality, it doesn't.  But in the song, well... haha.. it doesn't either, but then serendipity later shows it was truly their fate to meet again.

I'm not so lucky, not that I'm asking for anything just...  In general, yours truly is a can of worms (albeit the tastiest darned can of worms you could ever dream of).  If you believe in fate and destiny, then you understand how frustrated and helpless I feel at times.  I know I should try to accept things as inevitable, but I can't.  My mind can reason it out like the most logically sane person in existence, but my heart speaks a language of its own so much more powerful and transcendent than any brain circuits of mine are capable of comprehending.

You know how some people can "get over" a situation and move on, learning or not learning from it but mainly, not letting it occupy their thoughts any longer?  Why am I so incapable!?  I have accepted things, the past, histories, sure, but it's like a burn scar that still hurts long after it's healed, still turns red hot and aches like the coldest winter on your bones.

I'm so melodramatic. I can't imagine myself any other way.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Injustice Surrounds Us - A Sociological Look

I really started to read my sociology textbook and find that I quite enjoy it though it is most unsettling.  Right now I am reading about crimes and how deviant behavior, though very subjective and relative, is defined within our society and punished in ways that put up a facade of fairness but often lack much common sense in judgment.  While I understand that it is a tough line to draw between what is a major offense and what is minor, the current definitions are clearly unsatisfactory.

For instance, who is one to say that the crimes of a poor man stealing a pizza any worse than the crimes of a white-collar worker toying with stock prices that cause the decline of companies and the loss of thousands of jobs?  While the pizza stealer was sentenced to 25 years in prison (qtd. in Henslin 160, from Cloud 1998 study "For Better or Worse"), most corporate offenders receive only token fines to pay.  In addition, legislatures further enacted the "three strikes and you're out" law which states if an offender receives three strikes, s/he receives an automatic mandatory sentence.  There were no clauses, however, that limited this judgment to violent crimes.  Instead, unanticipated consequences resulted from what I see as an unjust (in that it really lacks common sense) law: a Tiger Woods impersonator was sentenced to 200 years in prison (Reuters 2001) just to he could go on a $17,000 shopping spree; a thief of nine videotapes received a 50 year sentence with parole (Greenhouse 2003); a 25 year-old was given 55 years in prison for selling small bags of marijuana (Madigan 2004).

Laws are created to protect us, guide us and prevent us from hurting others and yet how can we so unjustly judge one group over another simply due to their social class?  Why does the white-collar fraudulent embezzler pay just a fine that makes no dent on his wallet while the poor man stealing pizza from hunger get a prison sentence?  Recidivism is too high and our laws, practices, and prejudices aren't helping.  Greenland has it right when their goal is to try to integrate offenders back into society in a productive manner.  It is a vicious cycle that these inmates have to endure as most try to do what they can to get by, sadly having to resort to illegitimate means, which then puts them back behind bars and further prevents them from evading their fate because we do little to teach them to earn their way legitimately and discourage them further through discrimination.

Maybe I should get into sociological work...


Cyanide & Happiness 11/06/09

ROFL - "Kung flu"

Monday, November 9, 2009

A Most Disturbing Dream

I had an unsettling dream last night. Unrelated, I finally saw Joe on Saturday. He looks amazing better than my wildest imagination had me believe. His handsome face is unscathed and I am very glad for it though would be more ecstatic could he talk and look at me. I met his father, a great man, and finally heard the real story. My dearest Joejie was hit by a drunk driver from out of state early that Saturday afternoon two weeks ago. Bastard. I think he remains in jail but that type of person is irresponsible and doubtless has any insurance. What a jerk. Poor Joe! We were just talking Friday night, had a beer at BJ's. We talked about him keeping his bike. Ironic. I met his girl though under solemn circumstances. I told Joe ha! Now I've met her and you can't hide her anymore. Hm... I really want him to just be cognizant, look at us, blink YES I UNDERSTAND! But I have patience and faith.
He is Big Joe and he will return. Miss you, you're always in my heart!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Should've stayed home tonight. I'm

Should've stayed home tonight. I'm feelin' a bit o' the blues...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

My First Public Attempt at Singing Solo

Okay, so please don't laugh too hard and don't pity me either.  I already pity myself enough!  I am laughing in the saddest way possible.  lLolL

Yours truly!


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

IMO - Michael Jackson's This Is It

Joe opened his eyes last

Joe opened his eyes last night! I'm so happy! And so very relieved!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Life is Ashy but Full of Song

I hope you are doing wonderfully.  I apologize I have been remiss in posting, but life has been somewhat hectic, ashy, and... I am feeling the weight upon my lids.

My friend is still not awake, though they have taken him off the sleeping medicine (what his family called the "Michael Jackson Juice").  His body is weak, but he is a big strong man so I have much faith he will wake up from dreams soon.  At the same time, I am frightened because I may be too realistic and now too well the circle of life...  I have lost one dear person to me each year for two years now.  The older I get the more I hate Death and his selfish ways, that rat bastard.  Ugh.

I think about Joe a lot, most of the songs I listen to I just want to sing well so I can sing it to him when I visit him and he's asleep.  But I suck at singing so I don't know what to do for him when I do go...  It's like I'm finding reasons to postpone the visit - I'm afraid I'll break down and cry.  I cry before anything bad (or worse) happens and that doesn't help.  I'm a little glass ornament that's teetering on the edge of the tree, about to be eaten by the short child that eats glass thinking it's an acorn.

I will find the strength to go soon.  I have been thinking of him most hours of the day and night.  Today is a lucky day to pray, a good day, so I try to pray.  I asked for help because I'm not very adept at it.  I've got two religions on this one so far and I hope I've got one right.  The two songs that I sing constantly that remind me of Joe are "Stop Me" by Marie Digby and "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne.

"... Tonight, I am waiting for you to call me when you're not supposed to.  I've been trying to send you signs.  The doors to me are hard to find so stop me, stop me this time..."

Always thinking of you, Joe...


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Devyn Simpson - The New Marge

My friend Tony is obsessed with purple, so he said he'd get me a purple wig.  Then he thought, eh, might as well as her a Marge Simpson wig.  I asked for it by tonight but he said it'd be impossible.  My consolation prize? His photographic splice creation of me and someone wearing the wig.  I don't know how he did it, but somehow our eyebrows seem to meld together quite perfectly.

Halloween at work is quite funny.  Everyone's sporting wigs this year, and I must admit I've become quite the avid fan myself.  When I first walked in, some people thought I was doing Black Dahlia, though it didn't quite make sense to me because she's brunette - but I guess they saw the flower and that was more distinct for them.  I was considering the look by drawing the lines extending from the edges of my lips but only have bubblegum pink on me and I'd probably scare myself every time I look in the mirror.  =x

Dressing up is SO fun!  I was too lazy to bring my wings to work so I just did the wig and flower band and my  Barbie makeup.

I hope you're all having a blast like I am this Halloween!  It's like I've had two weeks of Halloween already, I can't get enough!  I doubt I'll do anything on the actual day of Halloween though, haha, I kind of feel like just taking out the kiddies then sitting at home in some fabulous comfortable outfit and watching scary movies - only I don't like scary movies because they're too scary!  I am probably one of the biggiest bok-kok chicken around.  As you know, even talking about ghosts makes me tear up from fright.  lLolL

It's Thursday, guys!  It's my Friday of the week and that's totally fabulous!  I have studying to do though, but I'm meeting my vocal coach today, yay!  I'm so nervous!  I was thinking about it last night and couldn't sleep because I'm already embarrassed.  *sigh*  Wish me luck!

Have a radical day and stay beautiful!


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Beginning Runners - Let's Rev It Up!

If you're a beginning runner like myself, you find almost every excuse not to have to run - you can't help it, running's too difficult that it is no longer perceived as a challenge and is instead discouraging.  As such, I've found reading magazines such as Runner's World (especially for beginners) more motivating and even informative.  The writers are decent and they even have interesting articles and awesome healthy recipes that look most delicioso!

In the October 2009 issue in "Running Commentary," one reader writes in regarding a previous interview with Sarah Palin.  I didn't know Sarah Palin runs or that she even still is a point of interest.  Anyway, some enjoyed her interview as it allowed them to see her good qualities as a runner rather than a politician, and another was much more snazzy.  He, from San Francisco no less, writes, "Sarah Palin?  Yes, Runner's World wishes to appeal to all sorts of runners, but fluff a piece on a yearning and dubious politician?  Not that you shouldn't court controversy, but jeez, of all the politicians to jog into the gin joints around the world, she has to jog into yours?"  It made me laugh so I had to share it with you!

Another magazine that I enjoy, and I'll admit to being nerdy now, is Maximum PC.  I had been wondering for the longest time why Verizon hadn't made a contract with Apple for the iPhone and wondered when their exclusivity contract would end, and why it was like that anyway... and Maximum PC uncovered that mystery for me as well as introduced me to the upcoming Verizon phone Droid to compete with the iPhone.  I am stOked!

Tomorrow at work we're having a Halloween luncheon with a costume contest.  By request, I will probably be wearing my blond wig again - what's the big idea, eh?  I don't look good as a brunette?  It tires me a bit to think I'll have to get ready for all that in the morning...  Fun, but still tiring especially since I'm not feeling well so who knows if I'll even make it to work!

Friday I've got tickets to see the Ducks game!  I'm not sure who they're playing since I haven't really been following, but that will be AWESOME!  I haven't been to a game since last season, so it has been long in coming.  I hope the game is awesome - and what's an ice hockey game with a fight!?


The Fairy Costume - Party Time!

Finally, it has come!  The making of my fairy costume video!  It actually took very little time to start the sewing process.  The more tedious part was waiting in line at JoAnn's Fabric Store - which I abhor due to the most terrible customer service EVER - but seeing as how my options are limited and hardly any competition exists my complaints will go unheard.

I hope you find some enjoyment in it as it took me a long time to edit!  I hope you're all putting on that creativity cap and making wonderful costumes.  Have a blast this Halloween weekend, but please BE CAREFUL!!!


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Verizon, the Droid & Apple's iPhone - Sneak Peak!

I have been finally almost hooked into the iPhone craze but heartily admit that I am far too loyal to Verizon to break my bonds of service and move onward to AT&T simply to jump on the bandwagon.  Since 16, I've tried every major mobile phone service provider (AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile, Verizon) and have settled on valuing Verizon the most.  So I had been wondering for months now when Verizon would bring up talks with Apple for a contract that opens up Verizon users to the wonders of the i-world.  Apparently, there have been talks and it's Apple that remains stubborn.

Maximum PC magazine has a brief article on the new phone that will be competing against the iPhone specially branded for Verizon.  The Droid uses Google's Android platform, and combine that with the Verizon 3G network, and you've got a battle.  The iPhone exclusivity contract with AT&T ends this year (WOOHOO!) but that doesn't mean Verizon is backing down on their offense. 

What wonderful news for us, eh!?!?  I'll finally be able experience the wonders of minimizing screens on my mobile by the simple pinching motions so unique to the iPhone.  And what about that shot gun or the metronome?  I don't know about you, but this walking musical talent can't leave her house without a metronome to keep her in pace!  Meanwhile, I think I'll be looking into the Verizon Droid more (pictured right).  The site for it is sassy and thus why I find it entertaining.

(ha ha.  I do hope you sense at least a dash of facetiousness in that, or do you really think I'm that geeky?  Mayhap cheeky is a better adjective for me.)

I like to think I'm goofy.  No, you can't say it - just me.  It's one of those things that is okay to admit but unacceptable to be qualified as such.  lLolL

I've been working on filming and photography for the Halloween fairy costume that I had in production.  It's taking me a long time because I have terrible video editors; I'm looking into new software.  For now, here's a sneak peak photograph!

I hope everyone is having a most wonderful week so far.  My friend Joe has had some minor improvements, though he is now stricken with pneumonia, but I thank you everyone so dearly for all your support, prayers, and good will.  I won't be nagging everyone to stop riding their motorbikes but please, do be careful.  You will only cause yourself and those you love more grief.  In the event you are injured, you will be certain I will be nearby for your safe and prompt recovery.

PEACE be with you, my dears!


Monday, October 26, 2009

My Dear Joejie - We Love You, Please Come Back!

My dear friend Joe was in a motorcycle accident Saturday evening.  He's on life support at this time and I urgently need all of your thoughts, prayers, whatever positive influences you may have to bring him back to us.

I don't like surprises because I don't like the shock value.  I hate it.  This moment is surreal, a nightmare that I want to wake from but am scared to because I don't want to leave and not find out if he comes back with me or not.

Dear Joejie - please wake up.  Wake up, Joe!  We need you here with us, to laugh and make merry.  You have to come back, Joe,  you said you're a big strong man so show us!  We're supposed to go to our favorite Hollingshead's this Tuesday, we talked about it Friday night!  You said you don't have work that day, and we'd never gone there to enjoy a delicious beer together before...  You will come back, amigo, we have too many things to do together, not to mention all the wonderful things you had planned.  Please, hear our thoughts and prayers, and stay strong.  Don't lose your way, we're waiting for you.  COME HOME!!!  <3

I love you, Joe.  Please please please come back!

I feel so helpless!  *sob*


Friday, October 23, 2009

D's Greyish Bubbles

Please receive my apologies early as I cannot keep this narration as airy and bubblegum as is my usual coloration.

As previously noted, I do  not like people easily but when I do am easily attached.  When this involves males, I have attributed the attachment to what is commonly known as "daddy issues."  If you grew up with one, then you are most fortunate and if, like me, that figure was missing then perhaps you are better able to see my standpoint.  This is not to say that I cling or need constant attention; rather that I need the comfort of stability and reliability, neither of which I have known me well.

[Tangent: I just went on a break and my friend has been talking about scary movies and ghost stories all day.  I am frightened my bamboozled off.  He used to live in a haunted house in Louisiana where the man had committed suicide.  His friend would occasionally stay over and see him jolt upright in the middle of sleep and speak in a foreign language eloquently in what sounded like Indian.  The man that maimed himself was Indian.  On another day, he was sitting at home watching tele by himself.  The kitchen drawers started opening and closing.  He said aloud, "I'm not afraid of you.  Do what you want, but don't let me see you."  It ceased.  My friend also has a niece, perhaps seven years of age at the time.  Several times she would point out to him, "There's a man in the garage" and he would keep reassuring her it was nobody.  He couldn't see the man, but he heard the sounds yet she did.  He didn't tell her until years later when she would understand better.  *shivers*tears*  Okay, no more!  I'm scaring myself!!!]

In any case, I have developed a rather unique clam shell that is seemingly hard on the outside but made so delicately it easily shatters; the inside soft and warm but easily poisoned.  I know I should not compare myself to their others but find I cannot stop.  Their beauty and talent should not encumber mine as we are all unique and beautiful in different ways.  Yet, I feel as though my sunlight is being overshadowed, my Casablanca diminishes and wilts as it is overtaken by the Daisy.  Overcrowded and thirsty, the Casablanca wants to break free but alas, she is rooted - entangled deeply in her origins whereby endeavors to pick herself up and find a new niche in hopes of being liberated and finding that sunlight once more risks her very extinction.


Thursday, October 22, 2009

I <3 Taylor Swift!

This is funny.  It's like I never experienced my teenage years and now it's suddenly a big, fresh revival.  I wish I were only 16!  I HAVE been in a cave for the past 10 years!

I first discovered Taylor Swift when she was exclusive to MySpace.  She was one of the reasons that I began to enjoy country music much more than I ever did (because I didn't).  She has some new tour dates and will be out of the country until next year, but she'll be coming to LA and SD next April or May... something like that.  I'll have to look into tickets for her concert as well as Stagecoach and possibly even the Country Music Festival in Nashville!!!

Yay for Bella Terra this Friday!  I am going to check out Halloween Express to see what wigs they have.  So far, costume has not been in progress as planned.  I will try to produce a video for its making.  I also looked into Halloween recipes because I have to make something to bring into work for our little Halloween luncheon.  Stay tuned!

Have a radical weekend and stay beautiful!


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

IMO Revolving Sushi - Kula vs. Kura

I recently experienced what it's like to eat about a revolving sushi bar.  That is, the chefs make their masterpieces and place them on small plates that rotate about a conveyor table.  It's fun and dangerous because you've got so many options and ultimately you forget how many rolls you've eaten.  It's worse than a candy store because you get so full!

Last night I tried Kura Sushi in Costa Mesa.  A few times before that I ate at Kula Revolving Sushi Bar in the Diamond Jamboree plaza, Irvine.

My review: Obviously they're both similar in the style of presentation and the general types of sushi, maki, handrolls, etc. offered.  While Kura has a larger selection from which to choose (appetizers, sushi, handrolls, dessert), Kula has better quality fish that tastes more fresh in my opinion.  To be fair, though, it may depend on the time in which you go.  Normally when I visit Kula I'm there at first opening during lunch or early dinner.  I went to Kura around 6PM yesterday and some of the fish tasted warm, which is... slightly disgusting.  (The ironic part is that Kura has a "freshness guarantee.")  Freshness is always an important factor in judging sushi, given most of it includes raw ingredients.  If you enjoy dessert, Kura has a plethora from tiramisu, eclairs, tempura ice cream, and yogurt.  Kula has maybe one or two desserts, including a Japanese warabimochi; tasty, and certainly unique.  Both are tapas style sushi (not sure if that word can actually be applied to this type of cuisine).  Everything at Kula is $2 whereas Kura has varying prices depending on which item you select.  I went with different family members to both places (four people) and the final tab came out to be the same.

Best two items at Kula: spicy tuna crunchy roll (pictured) and the shrimp tempura hand roll.

Both places offered toro (fatty tuna) but Kula's definitely tasted more fresh - I gave it a couple tries so I'm not really that biased!  Kula also has tastier wasabi that doesn't come from a tube or jar.  The interior has a more modern feel to it, and turnaround rate is pretty quick (so I hear, I'm always there too long to say hah)

So if you want better, fresher tasting sushi I'd recommend Kula in Diamond Jamboree.  If you're out for the full fanfare from beginning to end and can make it at first opening, Kura is your place (slightly larger venue as well).

<3 tempura fried ice cream and pound cake!


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Recruitment Tip - Fab Find on a Cloudy Day

Phillip Lim began following me on Twitter.  It was exciting to see it, so I'm now following him.  To my surprise, what did I find?  Probably one of the greatest online outlet stores for designer apparel and accessories!  Enter where you'll find anywhere up to 70% off designer lines like Phillip Lim, Marc Jacobs, Fendi, Miu Miu, and more.  I haven't perused the entire site yet but one can't spend all their time shopping online...  Besides, one of my endeavors is to minimize shopping, remember?  lLolL

This morning is ... somewhat suddenly a sad day.  The weather doesn't look too bright, though I woke up on my favorite side of the bed.  I had enough time for my whole fabulous Devyn routine, hair, makeup, accessories and all...  Abruptly, it starts to fade... the pink lips, the bright eyes...  I start thinking again and confusion clouds my present, thunder looms my past and all the while I stand without shelter, immobile and dazed.

funny pictures of cats with captionsA friend told me that if one has the ability to multitask (and brood) then one is simply not busy enough.  Mayhap that is the case, but since one of my life's turning points time management hasn't always been at its best.  There is room yet for change!

On a more pragmatic note, Ms. Boss (that's not really her name, I just refer to her as that if you understand the allusion to Australia) recommended that one not recruit near the end of the fiscal year because budgets are mostly spent so offered salaries/wages are not as opportune as in the beginning of the year.  It makes sense.

How do those emo people do it for so long?  It gets so irritating, I can barely stand myself!  I'm like my hair stylist's daughter Madison - not that I need to spend much time but I get easily attached.  Little girl intuition and affinities; maybe I'm a late bloomer since I was such a tomboy.  Those days were easy.

Let us all have a beautiful day and hope that it rains so that we may jump in all the rain puddles wearing hot pink rain boots (and hopefully waterproof mascara).  Take care and have a smiley day!!!  My favorite new shoes from Zara.


Monday, October 19, 2009

Macroeconomics & Balance of Payments Accounting

School has officially legitimately begun for me, so life will be more hectic than previously described.  Good bye, FarmVille, I must retire and only regret that I cannot gift you to my somewhat deserving neighbors.  Besides my commercial insurance course exam i'm studying for in late November, I'm going to learn about sociology and macroeconomics.

Oh, how I look forward to slamming through four textbooks (commercial insurance not shown)!  For my macroeconomics course, I had to write an introduction of myself and respond to some questions the professor posited.  He responded by telling me to read about the balance of payments accounting while somehow assuring me I'm not all that clueless about economics, said thank for your that "very interesting introduction," and agreed with me that we dislike politics.  College humor, quite fabulous.

Other extraneous activities that would behoove me to give up: logging into Facebook twenty times daily (I'll shoot for less than four times weekly); more than one blog entry per day; online shopping (very time consuming, this one); resting while listening to "Sweet Dreams" (this is highly unproductive); going to my favorite deli pub more than once weekly (this generally doesn't happen but sometimes it's my fave and then another one); tweeting more than once daily; and eating.  Activities to replace those time slots: Blackboard (I must post at least twelves times per week by my calculations); reading about sociology, economics, and commercial insurance; exercising while reading about sociology; sleeping while dreaming about macroeconomics with a slurping of the occasional drool as commercial insurance whets my senses.

What a griping life I seem to have presented to myself...

Life shouldn't be about finding yourself, it should be about creating yourself.  Although my life's depiction seems droll and colorless, ultimately it'll be as vivid as Munchkinland if I continue shaping it properly by building strong foundations of self-righteousness, perseverance, courage, and strength.  And, with the strong intention of building camaraderie between us, I leave you with the brilliant words of Steven Colbert (the "t" is silent):


P.S. Have I told ... you lately...  How very much I enjoy exclamation marks!?!?!?!!!!'

Make Poverty History!  What's your excuse?


Sunday, October 18, 2009

OC Food Bank & Where the Wild Things Are

This morning I woke up and got ready for my company and industry-wide volunteer week.  We participated with the Orange County Food Bank and helped package non-perishable food items to be sent out to participating families/individuals.  Our small group of about fifteen (seven of which were children volunteers) produced over 750 care packages!  Go TEAM!

We even finished ahead of schedule, which made me quite the happy camper because I was already late to a birthday luncheon!  I was starved.  Anyhow, as you can see I had to make a "fashion" statement and cut my t-shirt up all cute and 80s - the shirt didn't fit anyway, it was a medium and clearly over-sized.  I also wore silver earrings, necklace, and did my hair all straight and cute with a silver bow headband.  Perhaps too cute a look, but oh well!  (Please excuse the horrid lighting from my webcam.  I was in a rush to head out and took these in a flash.)

Straight after, I drove to my friend's mom's restaurant (my mama is friends with her mother too) to celebrate three birthdays (and, apparently, a retirement).  They're always such a fun group - and let me tell you, that sure is something considering I've never hung out in the same crowd as my mother before.  lLolL.  They always do the super Asian thing and karaoke every opportunity they get.  It's fun to watch though I hardly understand most of anything, and am supremely grateful for my friend's presence.  It's so cute, too, her mom was giving her the Viet kiss which resembles and Eskimo kiss with the touching of the noses but is uniquely accompanied by a.. ..  How do I describe this...  A sort of sniffling, inhaling of air from the nose.  I'm not sure how that developed but I've noticed that in my family; the only good explanation I can come up with is that outright kissing is too liberal and PDA so they developed a less overt method of showing affection by Eskimo nose-breathing kisses.  lLolL.  I love it.

I really have to say how much I appreciate my friends, family, and people I've met along my brief life's journey thus far, and by journey I really mean the past 6 years or so of my life.  Somehow I feel as though I've been asleep, not really being able to appreciate my culture fully or understand the compassion and strength if showing affection and love to those that I reserve them for.  Being born in Utah and growing up a first generation Asian American in the great bubble called Irvine in the fabulous County of Orange, it hasn't all been breezy no matter how sweet it looks on the tele.  I've had experiences in my extra early formative years, when most don't notice anything growing up their whole lives, that ha\ve made me want to hide from the world - to be just black and white rather than yellow and brown.  All I ever want to be is AMERICAN, my nationality rather than a racial group.  I'm still like that today but I've gotten more accepting and appreciative of my heritage, especially all the yummy foods and funny words and expressions we have.  For instance, Vietnamese culture produced the fabulous noodle soup called pho.  We also have expressions that, loosely translated, mean "rotten egg" and "devil child" that make me tickle; no, they're not as  bad in context as they seem.  lLolL

Returning from my digression, after luncheon at the restaurant (seven course beef, what other culture has a SEVEN course beef meal, I mean really...) my friends and I went to see Where the Wild Things Are at Bella Terra.  It was my first time there and I must share that it is a cute place to hang out.  Bella Terra is well decorated with nice sofas, palm trees, cute little hanging lights, and new architecture.  There are some fun stores there like Madison Bleu (a boutique), ANGL (they sell fabulously cute dresses!), Diane (a bikini boutique), and Pinkberry.  I, to this day, still have not tried Pinkberry *wink*nudge* because...  I just don't know, I never wake up from a nap thinking "Oh goodness!  I need me some Pinkberry goodness!"  It's usually sushi I'm craving - yes, I've been a sushi fiend for the past few weeks.  I thought I'd gotten it out of my system having eaten it at least once a week but I was incorrect.  I believe it has clearly dominated my "favorite" food title.

I enjoyed watching the previews before the movie.  I'm looking forward to many children's movies, namely Planet 51, Fantastic Mr. Fox, A Christmas Carol with Jim Carey, and Astro boy, among a bunch of others.  The most immediate film I'd like to watch is This Is It documenting a series of the late Michael Jackson's performances, etc.  (Watch it with me!)  Where the Wild Things Are had great cinematography.  The story is very unique, a bit wild as the name implies, slightly emotional with a lesson to be learned.  I'm strange in that if a movie makes me sad or feeling strange, though I can artistically appreciate its value, sometimes I can't say outright that I enjoyed it.  There were times when I laughed, almost got teary-eyed, and yawned.  Forget the yawn, though, I'm just an old lady so please forgive my minor discontent.   Themes of loyalty and family run solid throughout the movie, testing the protagonists' characters.  I definitely recommend the movie, though it might not need to be seen on the big screen - or just wait until it hits the dollar theatre.

Tangent number five thousand: I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos, tons of different music and makeup recordings.  Most recently I have come to enjoy Marie Digby, a half Irish half Japanese acoustic pop rock talent who went to Cal for at least her freshman year (GO BEARS!).  She does an amazing cover of Beyonce's "Sweet Dreams."  I wish I knew how to sing so badly - it's such an incredible talent, soothing, relaxing, exciting, invigorating, emotional, and communicable.  I bought that classical guitar and ukulele I told you about before, and was learning but got discouraged.  without a proper instructor it's really hard to keep going.  I'm uncertain whether I'm learning correctly, and I'm OCD in that I feel the need to do it right or not at all.  Similarly, I've been trying to find a vocal coach for years now (yes, my lazy bum and highly ADHD mind has found numbers and put off calling them for years).  I'm sure I'm one of a gajillion people that strive to be "different," unique with some ability that is beautiful to share.  I don't want to be a wallflower, a peon, a silly little pawn.  I know that if everyone were queen, there really would be no queen, no shining star...  I just WISH...  !!!

All right, back to reality.  Sweet dreams to you!  This old lady has work tomorrow.  Manic Monday, here I come!  Get ready for me to knock your socks off!

P.S.  YouTube is incredible.  I found some talented people that I can now look up to for a happy face (Kandee Johnson), a hopeful story (Arnel Pineda), a rising dream (Marie Digby), and re-runs of the most fantastic fashion shows and models around - Victoria's Secret and Heidi Klum.  <3


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (2008)

Full length show!  Enjoy!

Cal vs. UCLA - Tea Cup Cutie!

One of the reasons I want a tea cup pup...

I would constantly be wanting a to take a photoshoot with my darling using humorous props like a hot dog bun.  rofl

The Cal vs. UCLA game is also in progress at the moment.  Go Bears!  Admittedly, I'm not even watching it but my wonderful friend is keeping me updated. lLolL.  Instead, I was tanning... in the middle of October - ONLY IN CALIFORNIA, BABY!!!  <3


Mindshare LA Masquerade - 'Ab' Lincoln

I know, I know.. ... .  I really ought to think about what I'm going to say prior to getting in front of a camera..  rofl.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

LET'S GET EXCITED for the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show!!!
The show airs Tuesday, December 1 at 10PM ET/PT on the CBS Network.  I am totally DVR-ing this!  I will post more updates or sneak peaks if I get a hold of them!

On a less exciting note, I saw one of the last people I ever wanted to see today.. ... .  It came as a shock, and somehow I had a bad feeling before I got there.  I was a nervous wreck but somehow, my friend attested, I was able to smile and wave.  I was in shock, though, so it just came naturally (ha ha) but as soon as I snapped out of it I quickly turned to get away.

Life shouldn't be like that!  We shouldn't have to run from people that scare us - people shouldn't scare us, period!  At this point in my life, I feel like I've been burned so badly that everything scares me.  That's both pathetic and sad, helpless and hopeless turned into a rotten fairytale pumpkin.

More on heartbreak another time...  I went through my Myspace blog I had begun at the turn of this year and somehow dropped it after a month.  Very dramatic and emotional time for me.  I will organize it and post it for your enjoyment.  Stay tuned!

And stay beautiful!


Monday, October 12, 2009

Pickup Lines & the Gym

One of the worst pickup lines ever- do you go to this gym often? I went to the gym for the first time in a long time. I have never felt uglier.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Arnel Pineda - A New Hero

You never know who is out there.. ... . ..

GBS = goose bumps surplus

"I feel like an alien - I'm not supposed to be here, but I am."  - Arnel Pineda

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I knew there was a

I knew there was a reason I didn't want to wake up today.. . ... .

The Quintessential Beauty

While I sit outside the Mazda dealership waiting for the completion of my oil change, let's have our first discussion on what I believe, given no other makeup, transforms a person from sleepy eyes to sexy eyes in a matter of minutes.

There are three major elements that separate the average person from the belle: beautiful teeth, flawless skin, and remarkable eyes.  These are, in no way, listed by importance - in my opinion, it is essential to strive for all three and not settle for just a fraction of what beauty may behold for you.

Preparing your lashes for magnificence is important to the overall look being achieved - especially for small eyes.  Layering on mascara atop lashes that point downward or lack defining shape may help outline the eye slightly but may even help point out a feature that would best be camouflaged (like the woolly mammonth in Sesame Street) .   To the point, though, use a lash curler!  Sephora sells a great curler that is less than half the size of a regular curler, totally portable and effective (little black curler at top of picture).  It works well for curling sections of your lashes at a time.  The other curler pictured is the Shu Uemura lash curler, sold everywhere, which actually fits my eyes when other curlers may not.

I've tried a multitude of mascara brands, from designer labels to drugstore buys, and have found that I love Maybelline's mascaras better than say, Mac, Lancome, or Smashbox, at about half the price.  The drugstore brand that I dislike, though others have vouched by it, is L'oreal.  It might just be because I've got uncooperative lashes but whenever I apply Lash Blast or Great Lash on its own, no top coat, it undoes my curling and makes them stick straight out like a rod.  Not only that, they don't thicken and cleanup is something else.  One L'oreal mascara in particular that I tried at the recommendation of Kandee Johnson is the Double Extend tube.  This has the lash primer and the color, but when I applied it my lashes lost the curl and were not thick.  When I tried to clean it up, it hardly came off with my Lancome Bifacil makeup remover (it comes off better with soap and water) and came off as strips of microfibers, creating a huge black mess on my face.

At any rate, drugstore brands are so cheap that I would highly recommend buying a few and trying them all out.  Mascara works differently on everyone's lashes due to factors like length, thickness, and our bodies' natural oils so you never know - what works for me might be a disaster for you.  Just keep in mind I am quite particular about my eyelashes and mascara, so I do have a good head about me when it comes to this business.

I've begun to use the Maybelline XXL Waterproof white lengthener, and topping it with the Maybelline Colossal Volum' Express in black glam.  This unique combination extends the eyelashes and helps comb through and separate the lashes with the first layer of white.  The glam black then thickens those lashes and creates a distinct definition that frames the eyes beautifully.  I just checked out the Maybelline website and they've got some new mascaras out that look fabulous so I'm probably going to get more, haha.  You'd think having more than two is excessive but, like I said, perhaps I'm a bit OCD when it comes to eyelashes ha ha.. .. ...  Anyway, their newest mascara is the Great Lash BIG Washable Mascara and, remember how I said I dislike Great Lash - well, it's new so I'm going to try it and maybe the formula will be slightly different and actually work.  lLolL

If you've virtually no eyelashes and/or they're really short, get EYELASH EXTENSIONS!  I did this for a while and got totally addicted to it.  When I had my eyelash extensions in, I hardly ever put on makeup because my eyes were so gorgeous nothing else mattered (not that I'm being conceited, ha ha, but you should have seen me!).  I saved time in not having to put that makeup or even mascara on, everyone always complimented my eyes, and I looked glam with nary a thought to it.  I have a beauty salon I go to, they also do facials and offer other beauty services, that is quite reasonable.  My favorite is Lily - she's the sweetest little lady ever - and she knows how I like them packed on thick and long.  If you'd like more information on her shop, please ask!

Eyelash Extension Maintenance -- For me, extension maintenance was easy as all I had to do was be watchful of how I washed my face and showered.  DO NOT GET YOUR LASHES WET!  Gently wash around your face, and don't entrench your face under the running showerhead water.  One method of eyelash extension application is to use a special glue to adhere the falsies to your natural lashes.  Overexposure to water, in addition to natural oils, diminishes the effectiveness of that adhesion; that is, you'll have to get them touched up sooner or even do a whole new re-application sooner.  I was able to keep my lashes on for five weeks, that's my record.  On average, most are able to keep them about two weeks (or if you're my mother, maybe a little over one week ha ha).  Caveat: you will get addicted and if you ever want to permanently remove them, it may take some real lashes as collateral damage.  Maybe it's just me, but you may feel slightly inadequate about your lashes once they're off.  SO, to save money and your self-esteem, finding the perfect mascara and curler combination would be best for long term.

I <3 MASCARA!  You can too!

Have a beautiful weekend and STAY CUTE!


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Some Radical Movies - On Repeat

"One is incapable of fully regarding another if one still has not fully realized oneself. "
~ Devyn Tran

Yes, I just made that quote myself.  I like it.  Don't worry about others until you needn't worry about yourself.  Loving yourself is crucial to intrapersonal and interpersonal growth, but from my experience the former needs to be developed prior to the latter to ensure its greatest potential.

Here are some movies I can watch on repeat because of the music or the feel-good effects.  I used to watch Bee Movie everyday for almost a month, and intermittently thereafter, because it always makes me see life so simply and just be happy laughing at all the little things that make life so sweet.

Across the Universe
Mamma Mia!
Bee Movie 

Cherish every moment!  I know it can get tough - some things we just don't want to remember - but that's one of the many reasons we have friends and family - to remind us life is special and to keep that light burning constant and strong so you can find your way backIt might take some time, the road may be bleak and treacherous, but persevere because the world is in the palm of your hand.  So take it by the reins and ride it!

I'm not notably a religious person, nor even Catholic, but my favorite Bible passage speaks of love.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
                   (Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV)


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

It's Been a Long Week - Models

Somehow I just found this draft post so let's backtrack about a week, haha.. .. .

Found a new awesome website regarding models.  Looks very artsy, I think I will study it more.  I want to go shopping for some cute things, more makeup, and .. .  ACCESSORIES!!!  So fun!

I think I haven't even packed a quarter of my place.  (Yesterday while I was endeavoring to clean house, I noticed I would pick one thing up and sort it half way, leave it and walk somewhere else and begin sorting it, drop it in another corner of my apartment, and sit back down at the computer with another item in hand.  I don't seem to be very effective in my approach.  I wonder what the movers will say today when they walk in to retrieve my sofa.  lLolL)  Also, still not enough sleep.  My face is hating me right now.  I almost stayed home today being "sick" because of exhaustion.  Then I got up because I knew my boss wanted to have a meeting with me.  I get to work and she tells me she's working from home.  I totally had a feeling that would happen.  ha ha

Aren't I the lucky goose...

I am sad for no television and a weird schedule with lack of memory because I keep missing The Big Bang Theory and Two And A Half Men.  A friend recommended Glee as well, but I can't even keep track of one show let alone three.  Without doubt, I do not have my wits about me today.   Beginning today through. ... the next month or more I plan to be a homebody...  Oh wait, I already am a homebody ha.  Well, I meant a more productive homebody.  How can all my personals from a 700 sq.ft. apartment possibly fit into a single bedroom the size of my apartment closet?!  Serious structural reorganization and "mad skillz."  That takes an incredible amount of time because when I start something, I get rather meticulous.
Let me add that Californication is quite the brilliant tele show - very dramatic yet mellow, "real", and still so Hollywood.  I love David Duchovny's character because he's honest, sarcastic, a joker, messed up, and somehow so loving to his daughter and madly in love with his ex and somehow acts f-ed up.  Makes me laugh and want to cringe.  It really shows the complexity of relationships, the struggles we have growing up, learning from experiences, and endeavoring so hard to get back up on our feet.  Sex addict.  Ha ha ha

Now back to present date, I am slowly unpacking my belongings.  My back hurts from not having a desk but it's all right.  Currently listening to my Amy Winehouse radio station on Pandora.  It's playing great artists like Adele, Amy Winehouse, Feist, Bill Withers, John Legens - a bunch of great semi-disco, soul, R&B type beats.  Makes me want to groove, but it's not giving me much energy or motivation to clear up my humble abode, haha...

Looking for storage units and housing items online is so difficult!  I've been trying to find a shelving unit to place above the toilet in the restroom for more toiletries, maybe a shower caddy, sliding shower door (okay, really this is turning into more of a home improvement project for me than just my bedroom), a wall console, maybe a vanity...  The list goes on but maybe it's all wistful thinking.  I have decided to go to Anthropologie, Urban Outfitters, and Forever 21 tomorrow to see what home items they offer.  Yes, I will admit that I have ulterior motives to going to those places - accessories!!!  Do you believe Anthro sells a ceramic rose ring for $78!?  That's quite buggerly.

I bid you sweet dreams, I'm tired, and I hope you have the most amazing day tomorrow!  Take care!


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The L Word - Too Graphic

The L Word
Season 6, Episode 1

Really?  Who writes on parchment paper.. ..  c'mon.
How is everyone a lipstick?  Even the other is "pretty."

So Hollywood.

And excuse me, correction?  "This is Los Angeles.  There are same sex couples on every street corner."  Since when?!?!'

One memorable lesson: fight for your friendship, fight to the death and don't let it go.
"There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little brighter and live a little better"     - Anonymous

Monday, October 5, 2009

Monday Madness

Flat tire today.  = o(

You ever get the feeling you're capable of so much more?  Today I'm rather disappointed in myself.  My performance is below par, and though it is completely my fault and choice to have behaved thus, the feeling of not doing my best nor expending 100% of my energy to creating a brilliant piece is more than humiliating.  Sure, maybe it's not that bad but when it's become more of a delinquent status one has more reason to hide beneath the covers.

Here, again, we discuss the ravaging effects of the positive feedback cycle on the psyche.  The more you do it, the worse you feel, and the more you are compelled to do it as you're further pulled into the deepest oblivion called Life.  The cycle is endless, unbreakable, unbeatable - relentless!

Yes, let's continue to smile.  = o)

Hilarious video that appeals to my nerdy geeky side.  Cracks me up!


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Your Own Personal D

Currently listening to Pandora's Amy Winehouse radio (the majority of which are Adele songs).. . ..

I had been making brief videos because they seemed easier to produce - but I was slightly mistaken on the quality as well as the efficiency of it.  I haven't had much time to sit and write of late and find that it has been sorely missed.  I'm also rather tired of seeing my face.  ha

Devyn is of Gaelic origin and means "poet."  Katherine is Greek in origin and means "pure."

When I was younger, I used to write poetry often.  Even since then, sometimes I sit about and try to think up stories.  Sometimes I feel as though I ought to have fantastic plots given my own life's occurrences, but end up empty handed with more of a gut feeling on character development than a unique storyline.  I have the ability to write - well, even - but was forgotten in the creativity realm.  From the books I've read I'm certain I can get published if only I could get pen to paper and organize the jumbled bubbles in my head.

It's only 9PM and I'm about to crash.

My first real night/day at home.  I hate sharing a bathroom and already miss living on my own.  Sometimes one must make sacrifices now with the risk that one will ultimately be rewarded.  I'm certainly not much of a risk-taker so warily offer any advise that involves defying security and certainty.  In some cases, however, I feel the need to step outside myself, be the horrid hypocrite, and urge the jump.  I am optimistic that anyone may recover from a situation, especially those with much time on their hands.  Though I am somewhat in a race myself, and losing at that, somehow I almost want to ignore the clock and just be satisfied with finishing.

It is really hindering to be stuck inside one's head all the time, closing up doors and getting lost in an ever complex labyrinth ... to what end?  Is it a defense mechanism to protect what little sense of safety one imagines to possess, the minuscule hope for security that never really existed?

Still, I digress.  What I am trying to convey and failing miserably at is sometimes you have to take the risk of losing whatever sense of safety you have to potentially earn the greatest security and satisfaction you could never have dreamed would happen.  I am not referring to myself, the cowardly little lamb being shepherded by the wolf.  Colleen, this awesome gel I met last night, amazed me with her apparent ability to act with her head and feel less with her heart.  Yes, it sounds callous but it is somehow so self-preserving.  One is incapable of assisting others when oneself is indeed in the greatest need of help.

[Aside: Did you know you can determine a writer's psyche by analyzing their writing?]

In short: YOU GO, GIRL!!!  I am all ears, heart, hands, and anything else you need to catch you if you fall.  We'll climb back up together.


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