Sunday, October 4, 2009

Your Own Personal D

Currently listening to Pandora's Amy Winehouse radio (the majority of which are Adele songs).. . ..

I had been making brief videos because they seemed easier to produce - but I was slightly mistaken on the quality as well as the efficiency of it.  I haven't had much time to sit and write of late and find that it has been sorely missed.  I'm also rather tired of seeing my face.  ha

Devyn is of Gaelic origin and means "poet."  Katherine is Greek in origin and means "pure."

When I was younger, I used to write poetry often.  Even since then, sometimes I sit about and try to think up stories.  Sometimes I feel as though I ought to have fantastic plots given my own life's occurrences, but end up empty handed with more of a gut feeling on character development than a unique storyline.  I have the ability to write - well, even - but was forgotten in the creativity realm.  From the books I've read I'm certain I can get published if only I could get pen to paper and organize the jumbled bubbles in my head.

It's only 9PM and I'm about to crash.

My first real night/day at home.  I hate sharing a bathroom and already miss living on my own.  Sometimes one must make sacrifices now with the risk that one will ultimately be rewarded.  I'm certainly not much of a risk-taker so warily offer any advise that involves defying security and certainty.  In some cases, however, I feel the need to step outside myself, be the horrid hypocrite, and urge the jump.  I am optimistic that anyone may recover from a situation, especially those with much time on their hands.  Though I am somewhat in a race myself, and losing at that, somehow I almost want to ignore the clock and just be satisfied with finishing.

It is really hindering to be stuck inside one's head all the time, closing up doors and getting lost in an ever complex labyrinth ... to what end?  Is it a defense mechanism to protect what little sense of safety one imagines to possess, the minuscule hope for security that never really existed?

Still, I digress.  What I am trying to convey and failing miserably at is sometimes you have to take the risk of losing whatever sense of safety you have to potentially earn the greatest security and satisfaction you could never have dreamed would happen.  I am not referring to myself, the cowardly little lamb being shepherded by the wolf.  Colleen, this awesome gel I met last night, amazed me with her apparent ability to act with her head and feel less with her heart.  Yes, it sounds callous but it is somehow so self-preserving.  One is incapable of assisting others when oneself is indeed in the greatest need of help.

[Aside: Did you know you can determine a writer's psyche by analyzing their writing?]

In short: YOU GO, GIRL!!!  I am all ears, heart, hands, and anything else you need to catch you if you fall.  We'll climb back up together.


1 comment:

Shanna said...

so awesome that devyn means "poet"...loved the entry. i need to start blogging again...i like to think of it as skywriting. you never know who will see it or how many people you will touch :)

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